this is how i think when things get too loud
think of trains of thought as long sentences, run-on sentences
there’s no track to follow so they run as they please, sometimes they collide, that’s an epiphany
but when things get too loud, it’s like clouds start to roll in
they build a wall between me and my trains, they keep them somewhere in my brain i can never reach
they’re storm clouds, big and gray but i watch anyway, i love cloud watching
i love silence
they bring silence
but as i lay on my blanket in the grass with my white noise playing softly through my stereo and i enjoy my silence, my trains keep running without me
sometimes the clouds will break and a word or two will poke through, but it’s never enough for me to follow and i instantly feel swallowed up by the emptiness
by the silence
and then it rains
all my anger and pain and hopes and dreams and cries and screams and tears come crashing down like rain, and it surrounds me
whisks me away
and i wait forty days and forty nights for the rain to stop, time is relative when You’re God, but it’s only in the rain that i hear His voice
i have no choice
He’s my silence when things get too loud
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
These two verses come right after the Lord’s Prayer, and in complete transparency, they had me pretty shook. If I won’t forgive somebody, and God won’t forgive me because I won’t forgive, how am I gonna get into heaven?
Continue reading “will my unforgiveness keep me out of heaven?”
If you want out, Jesus needs in. There is a way out of bondage without being condemned.
God had a problem with Solomon and his many women, mainly because whenever Solomon would fall with them, they would turn his heart towards whatever they worshiped. Seduction has an distracting, destructive agenda.
The path of something is the way to it. Lust is not stationary; if you have it in one part of your life, it will affect you in others. Every path, including lust’s, has a starting point, a midpoint, and a landing point.
Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | The Path of Lust x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (2/7)”
Your comfort should not dictate your receptivity. Receive the truth, be a realist and appreciate it when it comes from love.
The White Elephant in the room is a figure of speech for something that is large, oversized, something that everybody sees but refuses to talk about. Lust is one of those things.
Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | God’s Will For Your Body x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (1/7)”
how intricate am I
woven like a basket
how, I wonder
can you see through me?
I wish I could see the beauty in myself
but I’m full of holes
so holey, so holy
Holy Lord, help me
I pray today
but what about yesterday?
how much can I hold?
take my arms, Lord
hold me, remold me
make my purpose clear
I can’t pour what You haven’t given me
I can’t collect what isn’t meant for me
save me before I break
Continue reading “my testimony”