this is how i think when things get too loud
think of trains of thought as long sentences, run-on sentences
there’s no track to follow so they run as they please, sometimes they collide, that’s an epiphany
but when things get too loud, it’s like clouds start to roll in
they build a wall between me and my trains, they keep them somewhere in my brain i can never reach
they’re storm clouds, big and gray but i watch anyway, i love cloud watching
i love silence
they bring silence
but as i lay on my blanket in the grass with my white noise playing softly through my stereo and i enjoy my silence, my trains keep running without me
sometimes the clouds will break and a word or two will poke through, but it’s never enough for me to follow and i instantly feel swallowed up by the emptiness
by the silence
and then it rains
all my anger and pain and hopes and dreams and cries and screams and tears come crashing down like rain, and it surrounds me
whisks me away
and i wait forty days and forty nights for the rain to stop, time is relative when You’re God, but it’s only in the rain that i hear His voice
i have no choice
He’s my silence when things get too loud
Again, the only way out of this battle is through ultimate reliance on the Spirit of God. We need the right relationship with Him, not one built on gifts and grocery lists. Be careful with charisma. Let The Spirit convict you and utilize His full ministry.
Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | The Doorway of Lust x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (3/7)”
“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
These two verses come right after the Lord’s Prayer, and in complete transparency, they had me pretty shook. If I won’t forgive somebody, and God won’t forgive me because I won’t forgive, how am I gonna get into heaven?
Continue reading “will my unforgiveness keep me out of heaven?”
“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.”
Matthew 6:5-8 NKJV
Continue reading “church notes: Praying with Power x Pastor Nathaniel Wright”
If you want out, Jesus needs in. There is a way out of bondage without being condemned.
God had a problem with Solomon and his many women, mainly because whenever Solomon would fall with them, they would turn his heart towards whatever they worshiped. Seduction has an distracting, destructive agenda.
The path of something is the way to it. Lust is not stationary; if you have it in one part of your life, it will affect you in others. Every path, including lust’s, has a starting point, a midpoint, and a landing point.
Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | The Path of Lust x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (2/7)”
“And with many other words he testified and exhorted them, saying, “Be saved from this perverse generation.” Then those who gladly received his word were baptized; and that day about three thousand souls were added to them. And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers. Then fear came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were done through the apostles. Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.”
Acts 2:40-47 NKJV
The ultimate measure of a church is the number of people it saves. We find ourselves in an interesting place where we want to grow our faith, but we struggle with witnessing and sharing our faith effectively with those who need to knowledge of Jesus Christ. The Gospel is always effective, but we have to make it infectious.
Continue reading “church notes: Faith & Growth x Pastor Nathaniel Wright”
there is so much more for me to prove because you assume that I have nothing to lose
you assume that I have nothing to use to get me where you’ve been but you don’t see the pulley I use to pull up the ones who are pushing me towards greatness
and the best part is, you don’t know what to expect
if I drop a book full of bars, you’ll still respect me
if I’m the first girl on Mars, you’ll still respect me
you will respect me
you may reject me til you need me but I have my people to protect me people who will feed me and fill me with love because they know I am more than enough
I know I am more than enough
He made me to be more than enough
so much more