1.18.17 – orchestra

time to tune up

why’s the pit so sparse?

you can’t make music if you don’t have heart


the show’s about to start


it should be a symphony

but the timpani, it’s not drumming

the conductor, when’s she coming?


and the audience

they expect you to perform

they expect to feel reborn

they expect


they lack respect


don’t feel so torn


the violins will be bright

bows dancing in the light

the boom of the bass will be just right

and it’ll all move in unison, what a sight

but the conductor, when’s she coming?


she’s the one who put it all together

the pieces, the piece, the peace

but she’s lost

it should all come together

but at what cost?


the show must go on

we must hear her song



summarized: The White Elephant | The Power of the Hedge x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (7/7)

When God is bringing you out of sin in your flesh, there’s going to be a long period of time where you will struggle against it. You will have to have extremes on the boundaries you set, especially if you’re surrounded by people who are undecided. Wear the ash and sackcloth Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | The Power of the Hedge x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (7/7)”

summarized: The White Elephant | Extreme Life x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (6/7)

When you are on your way out of sexual sin, God is going to call you into a season of divine extremes. If the people around you are uncomfortable with your extremes, you’ll start to leave your extremes to make them comfortable with what you have to do. You’ll start to hate the fact that you need to be so extreme, because you will become unpopular

We have to realize lust is nothing to play with. What’s after you wants to end you and your future. You can’t be half in half out, and you can’t leave room for compromising. Your soul should be your priority

Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | Extreme Life x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (6/7)”

12.15.16 – elite

don’t trip

everybody’s watching


head of the pack, on your pedestal

but no one’s gonna catch you if you fall


you can’t

not when everybody’s watching

what would they think?


it’s when they blink

that’s when you breathe

as they close, you can open

I know you’re tired of living for them


they take what you don’t give

they hate when it is how it is


but don’t trip

everybody’s watching


and that makes it worth it

I know you love your pedestal



summarized: The White Elephant | Murder in the Members x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (5/7)

The journey into lust never happens overnight, but the way you go in is the way you come out. One feel-good church service won’t turn everything around. There were levels to you going in to sin, and there will be levels to you coming out of it. Without revelation, repentance does not last. If you don’t have a reason to repent beyond just knowing something is wrong, you’ll take your repentance back. Being apologetic doesn’t mean that you’re repentant. There’s a difference between feeling remorseful and being repentant, thought they have a similar impact on the heart. When you’ve repented of something, you’ve lost the desire to do it, and you’ve taken it upon yourself to continue do things that will keep you away from it.

Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | Murder in the Members x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (5/7)”

TW// summarized: The White Elephant | Rape and Molestation x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (4/7)

Rape and molestation are things that need to be talked about. They have brutal effects, especially on underage women. The devil tries to use them to derail your purpose, to derail your destiny. They have brutal effects, especially when you’re underage, and there are several misconceptions about them. #1, not only men molest. It’s everywhere, and it has to be talked about. Continue reading “TW// summarized: The White Elephant | Rape and Molestation x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (4/7)”


this is how i think when things get too loud

think of trains of thought as long sentences, run-on sentences

there’s no track to follow so they run as they please, sometimes they collide, that’s an epiphany

but when things get too loud, it’s like clouds start to roll in

they build a wall between me and my trains, they keep them somewhere in my brain i can never reach

they’re storm clouds, big and gray but i watch anyway, i love cloud watching

i love silence

they bring silence

but as i lay on my blanket in the grass with my white noise playing softly through my stereo and i enjoy my silence, my trains keep running without me

sometimes the clouds will break and a word or two will poke through, but it’s never enough for me to follow and i instantly feel swallowed up by the emptiness

by the silence

and then it rains

all my anger and pain and hopes and dreams and cries and screams and tears come crashing down like rain, and it surrounds me

drowns me

whisks me away

and i wait forty days and forty nights for the rain to stop, time is relative when You’re God, but it’s only in the rain that i hear His voice

i have no choice

He’s my silence when things get too loud



summarized: The White Elephant | The Doorway of Lust x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (3/7)

Again, the only way out of this battle is through ultimate reliance on the Spirit of God. We need the right relationship with Him, not one built on gifts and grocery lists. Be careful with charisma. Let The Spirit convict you and utilize His full ministry.

Continue reading “summarized: The White Elephant | The Doorway of Lust x Dr. Matthew Stevenson (3/7)”

will my unforgiveness keep me out of heaven?

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV

These two verses come right after the Lord’s Prayer, and in complete transparency, they had me pretty shook. If I won’t forgive somebody, and God won’t forgive me because I won’t forgive, how am I gonna get into heaven?

Continue reading “will my unforgiveness keep me out of heaven?”

church notes: Praying with Power x Pastor Nathaniel Wright

“And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in the secret place; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. And when you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do. For they think that they will be heard for their many words. “Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him.”

Matthew 6:5-8 NKJV

Continue reading “church notes: Praying with Power x Pastor Nathaniel Wright”