happy birthday to me

let’s go through Psalm 23

 

the Psalm I have on my wall in the room I grew up in

the Psalm I have on my heart

Vessel in the Valley is TWO YEARS OLD TODAY!

I didn’t really have any goals starting out, but I’m really proud of how far I’ve come with this blog. Looking at my stats, I started off strong, then fell off for months (time spent in the Valley). It took a lot of crying and prayer and therapy and hugs, but these past few months I’ve been posting more regularly, and I love that. When I realized how obnoxious the WordPress ads were, I bought my domain, and I don’t regret it at all. This is my blog, and I really have to thank God for it. I love it. But do I know what’s in store? Nope.

So I’m gonna pray about it.

 

I wanted to breakdown Psalm 23 in this birthday post because that’s where the “in the Valley” part comes from. “Vessel” comes from 2 Timothy 2:21-22 (maybe it would’ve been cuter to talk about those on my 2nd birthday), but I have a whole analysis on refinement that’s gonna come from that breakdown. One day. But for now, Psalms.

 

‘1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters.

3 He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.’

Psalms 23:1-6

 

I’m not sure how I’m gonna get through this breakdown; I’m already tearing up.

 

Little ol me, the ever-lost sheep, has a good and caring Shepherd looking out for her. He knows my going out and my coming in. He knows my needs, my wants, and He satisfies them both. Just for me, because I’m me. He’s chosen me. He loves me.

He restores my soul. My broken, heavy soul. The soul that often doesn’t care where it lays, as long as it can rest. The soul that’s scared to welcome excitement because it’s so used to disappointment tagging along. So I tag along, trying to follow Him, trying to tread this path of righteousness, knowing that the way is long and the road is narrow. But He says it’s worth it, and He hasn’t been wrong yet.

That’s what I have to remind myself when I get to the Valley. He hasn’t been wrong yet. I haven’t been wronged yet. The One Who restores me, Who leads me to rest in paradise, He doesn’t abandon me in the Valley. It’s not even Death itself, just it’s shadow, but you’d think you were dead all the same. And in it, I’m just walking. One foot in front of the other, just walking, because I don’t know when this Valley will end. I don’t know when I’ll start writing again. Start living again. The only thing I know is that I’m not alone, and in that I find my comfort. Because I don’t want to be here, but if I’m with You, I’ll keep walking, just walking. Please keep guiding me.

Until we get to paradise again.

Until you tell me I can sit, I can truly rest, I can be blessed, more than I can bear. All because you love me.

 

My Grandma ends every prayer with verse 6. Every one.

 

This turned out to be more of a poem than a breakdown, but I really like it.

Thanks for 2 years y’all.

be blessed bbys ✨

Author: Iyaniwura Olarewaju

† | naija | nj | Cornell

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