my testimony

how intricate am I
woven like a basket
over, under
how, I wonder

can you see through me?

I wish I could see the beauty in myself
but I’m full of holes

so holey, so holy
Holy Lord, help me

I pray today
but what about yesterday?

how much can I hold?

take my arms, Lord
hold me, remold me
make my purpose clear

I can’t pour what You haven’t given me
I can’t collect what isn’t meant for me

save me before I break
into pieces
into peace

12.13.16

This poem is my testimony. After over two years of writer’s block, I finally found my words while walking through a museum, one of my favorite places. I’d always used writing as a way to articulate my thoughts, but something changed that day. It became a way for to for me to challenge myself. Whether I’m packing multiple meanings into a single phrase, or attempting to achieve absolutely amazing arrays of alliteration, I now find joy in writing, especially poetry. It’s one of my gifts.

Looking back at this poem, I realize that it’s been on my heart to be a vessel in the valley for a long time. I want God to use me, even when I’m feeling low. I want to be full of Him, so full that He’s seen through me and spills out through my cracks. On a night that I thought I’d crack from anxiety and depression, He saved me. If my writing can help people understand the things I’ve learned, the things that allow me to find my peace in Him, then my purpose will be fulfilled.

Despite my complex thoughts, I’m a simple person, so this will be a simple blog.

This all began with my Snapchat sermons, or Bible Breakdowns (BB™s), which will be posted every other Tuesday.

The other Sundays will bring more old poems; I’m saving my newer pieces for the book that I’m writing.

On Thursdays, I’ll share Summaries from videos I’ve watched and sermons I’ve heard.

The Miscellaneous page will act as my virtual junk drawer, full of cute catch phrases, unfinished thoughts… miscellaneous things.

Feel free to reach out with comments, questions, or even prayer requests on the Contact page.

On the Mission page will be this post, to remind me that I’ve dedicated myself to this. That, like Jeremiah, I must share the words God gives me.

And to remind myself of where I started, I’ll sign off my posts the way I did my all of my BB™s:

be blessed bbys ✨