I do a lot of my writing when I should be sleeping
or working Continue reading “something short & sweet”
freedom
on to the next
the next page
the next stage
it’s like having your hair in braids for months,
it’s constrained but protected, and you can feel the new growth coming in
those lil baby curls
you play with them when you’re stressed,
daydreaming about how big your fro will be when you can finally free yourself from those chains
braids
sometimes you need help to get through them all, sometimes you have to cut them short before you start
sometimes, sometimes, everything’s so conditional
but freedom is delicious
a process, but delightful
the braids come out, but there’s still the gunk that built up at the roots
the chains come off, but there’s still the dents that dug in at your wrists
you need clarity
look at reality
look at it, really
the gunk
the dents
this is where you were before you were free
(completely unrelated, but I am so happy)
(I never write happy poems)
don’t let it scare you
you’re free now
so clarify, wash the gunk out of your roots
massage your wrists, smooth the dents out
then play with your curls
yes, use your hands
your freedom
you’re at the next stage
on the next page
on to the next
4.1.19
happy birthday to me
let’s go through Psalm 23
the Psalm I have on my wall in the room I grew up in
the Psalm I have on my heart Continue reading “happy birthday to me”
the best of YED: vol. II, before you start
Aaand we’re back!
“We” being me.
And the Holy Spirit.
Anyway, here’s Volume II! How’d you like the first installment of my YED Series? That volume focused more on relationships, so now that we’ve laid out the backgroundwork, I’ll be talking about getting started. This volume is packed with questions because I’ve learned that it’s really important to be introspective before yelling, “we move!”
(Like, where are we moving to pls? :-/)
These are all points that I saw coming in handy for the pre-beginners. Whether you’re thinking of starting a business, your next semester, a new diet, a new book… whatever it is, just take the advice you need.
Again, I’ll have the points I actually took from the Summit big and bold; everything else will be thoughts from yours truly. Let’s get right into it! Continue reading “the best of YED: vol. II, before you start”
toni morrison
my heart has been saying goodbye
it’s not used to things staying, so it’s been saying goodbye
the things that did stay weren’t good, and they didn’t say bye
so that’s what my heart got used to
it was learning to say hello
to shaking hands
to keeping in touch
to being touched
and then the good said goodbye, again
and my heart cried and it said, “this is familiar”
“this is what I know”
“this is loss”
my heart is so used to saying goodbye, to the weight that moves in when you lose what you love
I can feel it, heavy in my chest
an ice that burns
so I’ve been learning to say goodbye
in a way that feels warm
a way that melts the ice
when you say goodbye to the sun, you say hello to the moon
and the stars
and then you say goodbye to those to say hello to the dawn
she brings her dew, and her birds sing
they cry out
and I wake up and I say, “this is familiar”
“this is what I know”
the fear of goodbye won’t keep me from saying hello
the good will say bye
the bad will say hello
everything will come, and everything will go
I can mourn in the morning
I can dance in the dusk
there’s a time for it all
I guess my heart just got used to saying goodbye
the best of YED: vol. I, relationships
“I have about 10 pages of inspirational chicken scratch, maybe I’ll pick my favorite points and expand on them. an advice column. yeah, that would be live.”
Turns out it was 12 pages.
I don’t know if this counts as an advice column (not sure if I’ve ever read one tbh), but more reflections started as 2 pages and turned into almost 2,000 words. To avoid turning my YED notes into a dissertation, I made a game plan.
If I stick to it, there will be four volumes. Each one is focused on a specific topic, but they’ll flow into each other (think of more reflections as the intro to all of this):
I. relationships
II. before you start
III. guidance
IV. as you’re going
The main points from the Summit are underlined, bolded, and numbered. They’re also bigger. If you just want some takeaway points from YED, there you go. But for everything else, assume I took the messages and ran with them.
I’ve been doing this long enough for y’all to know what to expect, but I hope you’re ready for a lot of intricate analogies and Bible verses!
marmalade jars
the slightest tint makes everything warmer
the slightest glint makes everything warmer
to see true joy, pure joy in someone’s your smile
it covers the room, makes everything golden
perfect
pure joy, perfect joy, oh how I’ve missed you
it’s been so long, I feel kinda shy around you now
I’ve grown a bit, so I’m adjusting still
I’m learning, still
learning what you look like
what I look like
what we look like
we go together, you and me
I’m supposed to be this happy
it may feel foreign, but I need to
know that I know you
true joy, perfect joy
you’ve made everything warmer
it’s like how the sun shines in the
winter, but you can’t feel its warmth
it’s spring now, I can feel it
feel the strain in my cheeks as
I look around in awe, with glee
everything’s golden, just how I’ve wanted to be
you make the little things so fascinating, Joy
so satisfying
actually, more gratifying
I’m already satisfied
even when it doesn’t feel like spring, everything’s still golden
the Son still shines in the winter
I’m learning, still
what we look like
because with you, everything’s
just slightly warmer
4.1.19
